So how do I get a divorce?

Updated: Nov 3, 2020

Before you do anything talk to your partner and see if you can agree for relationship counselling, the main one is relate, however you may be able to find something similar locally. Relate | The relationship people

If the relationship is clearly not going to work for both of you, make sure you have a copy of your marriage certificate, don’t worry if you have no idea where it is you can get another copy form the General Register Office. Order a copy of a birth, death or marriage certificate - GOV.UK

Often in divorce the children are unfortunately almost forgotten, because the pain both sides are facing, remember however you finalise the divorce will have an impact on your children’s future relationships; so make sure that you talk to them and understand that they do not need to take sides, and its ok to love the other parent. Supporting Your Child During Divorce or Separation. Remember your children need to be your main concern.

Ok, so you have decided that you want to get divorced start keeping notes of events, as it’s so easy to forget. Also get paperwork in regard to your financial affairs together. I can’t stress enough the importance of any paperwork being legally yours, a court will not consider any of your ex-husbands private papers. Getting a divorce - Citizens Advice

How much money will I be able to get from my ex-husband? Clearly this is a very important aspect of the divorce especially if you have children and not sure where you will live if your home needs to be sold. This matter will be decided by the judge, as each case is different; it is not possible to know this. However, it would be wise to consider what you put into the marriage. The longer the marriage the harder it is to work out, but as a general rule any money and properties that occurred during the marriage is divided equally; anything else is at the judge’s discretion. If there is only one property, then whoever is to care for the children will get the money in order to house the children. This often causes uproar as they often have to pay child maintenance and spousal maintenance until such time the children finish with their education.

Is there anything to do to protect myself? Yes, there is, under no account should you leave the family home. If you do it may give your ex-partner more rights. You need to get all paperwork together, but make sure that you already had these in your possession otherwise this will go against and cannot be used. Keep an eye on credit cards and bank account and as soon as they are closed inform your solicitor. How to protect your finances during divorce or dissolution ...

Does my ex have to pay more money if they had an affair, which subsequently ended our marriage? I’m afraid this will not influence the judge’s decision. It’s unfortunate also that if they decide to live with their new partner, then this could alter the amount of money you get, as the judge needs to ensure that they have enough funds to live on. Judges do not tend to get involved if one partner has wronged the other; they will only get involved if it has been proven that they have not disclosed assets or funds. Adultery is often difficult to prove in court.

Obviously, the process of divorce can be very complex, and this should be considered as a guide. If you feel you need any more advice please contact

If you need step by step advice get in contact.

Deborah Harry is a McKenzie Friend and a good help to getting you started.

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